They don’t get it, they don’t understand, they can’t see me
and where I am.
The old saying “ You should walk a mile in my shoes “seems to ring
so true.
They don’t get it, they don’t understand, they can’t see me and where
I am.
Where I am and where I want to be is a content tug of war within me.
My heart lies and tells my body you can be where they are, just try harder and you
will see. But the truth lives inside my bones it cracks and pops and moves to hard.
With every step I take trying to desperately trying to revive life into the old me.
It is a fruitless effort she is gone, no longer alive.
The whole and healthy that once was is in the
grave dead and gone.
All that is left is the painful reminder that who I was and
how that will never be.
They don’t get it, they just don’t understand, they can’t
see me and where I wish I could be. Longing to be Outside with friends not
drawn within, where shadows whispers of no mores and never again. They don’t
get it, they don’t understand, they can’t see me and where I am. I draw within
settled into my grief, the old me is dead and gone only the shell of pain now
lives in me. The inside of me wanting to run and jump work and care for those I
love. The outside of me in bed unable to move in total dependents of others. I wish they could see the real me the one that lives within. The real me not my pain or my symptoms not my needs or what We wish to be. But the one who wants to feel loved and wanted. Don't tell me what I can do or not do I know that truth all to well.
Tell me you love me enough to include me where I am. I wish they would be like the only one who understands, One who see's me and where I am. He draws near to me when no one else can reach within. I draw near to him knowing he understands. He gets it, He understands, He can see me and where I am. I am so thankful he comes to me just as I am.
Psalm 139 English Standard Version (ESV)
Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart
To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.
139
O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
3
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
4
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.
5
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
6
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
7
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
8
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
9
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
10
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
11
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
12
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
13
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
14
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.[a]
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
15
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
17
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
19
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
20
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.[b]
21
Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
22
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
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